Parent Education To Encourage Responsibility (PETER)

This program has been designed to assist parents and partners to:

·         Manage the maladaptive behaviours of their loved ones

·         Identify the origins of those behaviours

·         Identify their own behaviours that may contribute to conflict

·         Provide education on the harmful effects of drugs on all levels of existence – PEM

·         Assist participants to develop strategies to change patterns

What have we learnt from experience?

Many parents come into this program believing that if their child changed then life would be so much easier.  There is no doubt that dealing with a drug affected individual is a trauma, but from the beginning everyone is encouraged to consider that “drugs are not the problem – but a symptom of deeper underlying problems”.

This program will provide everyone with factual and proven information.  It may challenge the values and beliefs of those who are participating, it may even offend some, but the purpose of this program is to encourage “personal responsibility”.

Our children are the product of their external environment and this includes:

·         Extended family

·         Friends

·         Teachers

·         Parents & siblings

Everyone of the above has an influence over our child, but none more so than parents, although sometimes we may dispute that fact.  Our children live their lives up until the age of 13 “seeking our approval” and depending on whether or not their needs are met determines how they will continue to “act out” for the third developmental period of their lives.

Of course if they have not had ample “positive reinforcement” during the 0-5 year period then they may already have decided that the only way to get any attention or feed back at all is to behave badly.

Explanation of Early Childhood Development:

Our children have 4 tasks to complete by the age of five:

·    To develop a sense of autonomy – to develop skills on how to do for self in a positive and constructive manner.  If our children are using drugs or exhibiting other anti-social behaviours it is fair to assume that this task has not been completed.  It is not enough to believe that our children became the victims of “peer group pressure” because if they had learnt the difference between good and bad consequences as a child they would automatically choose good consequences.

·    To develop a sense of worthiness – I am loved because I exist.  Often this task is uncompleted because children perceive that their role is to “please” everyone else in order to be worthy of love.  This task depends on the ability of parents to love “unconditionally” and address behaviours rather than project those behaviours back onto the “person”.

·    To develop a sense of connectedness – I belong and I know I am safe and secure as part of the family unit.  This task is completed when children have been consulted and included in decision making and discussions that relate to family matters.  They are given the right to choose and their opinions are seen to be valued and respected.  With a strong sense of connectedness comes also self respect and respect for others.

·    It is developed through experiential learning and observation of the coping and surviving skills of others.  This task is also completed by parents who are able to exercise a reasonable amount of external force to protect and guide.  In other words “consistent parenting” that meets the “needs” of everyone concerned.

(TATRA Allied Health Training Services - Seminars)